attitude. Identify your negative thoughts and put a positive spin on
them. Note your talents and take pride in them. Learn how to deal with
your emotions. Be comfortable with fear and stop comparing yourself to
others. Take care of yourself. Learn how to set goals and take risks.
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| Self Confidence |
like this: “I can’t do that,” “I will surely fail”, “no one wants to
hear what I have to say.” This inner voice is pessimistic and
unhelpful and will hold you back from achieving high self-esteem and
greater self-confidence.
2. Turn your negative thoughts to positive thoughts: As you pay
attention to your negative thoughts, turn them around to positive
thoughts. This may take the form of positive affirmations, such as “I
am going to try it,” “I can be successful if I work at it,” or “people
will listen to me.” Start with just a few positive thoughts a day.
3. Refuse to allow negative thoughts to occur more often than positive
thoughts:Eventually, your positive thoughts should be given more
“brain space” than your negative thoughts. The more you counter your
negative self-thinking with positivity, the more natural this will
become.
4. Maintain a positive support network:
Connect with those close to you, whether they are family or friends,
to keep your perspective uplifted. Furthermore, stay away from people
or things that make you feel bad.
*Someone you call a friend may actually make you feel bad, if they
constantly make negative remarks, or criticize you.
* Even well-intended family members who weigh in with their opinions
about what you “should” be doing can be destructive to your
self-confidence.
*As you cultivate your own positive attitude and take steps to achieve
your goals these naysayers may become more evident. As much as
possible, limit your contact with them while you build your
self-confidence.
*Take some time to think about which people in your life really make
you feel great. Make a goal to spend more time with people who are
supportive and uplifting.
5. Eliminate reminders of your negativity: Avoid spending time around
things that can make you feel bad about yourself again. These might be
reminders from the past, clothing that no longer fits, or places that
don’t fit with your new goals of gaining confidence. Though you may
not be able to get rid of every negative source in your life, you can
certainly think about how to cut your losses. This will go a long way
in building your self-confidence up.
*Take the time to sit down and think about all of the things that are
bringing you down, from mean friends, a career you don’t much care
for, or a living situation that is almost unbearable.
6. Identify your talents:
Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you
excel, and then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to
take pride in them. Express yourself, whether it’s through art, music,
writing, or dance. Find something you enjoy and cultivate a talent to
go with your interest.
*Adding a variety of interests or hobbies to your life will not only
make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting
compatible friends as well.
*When you’re following your passion, not only will it have a
therapeutic effect, but you’ll feel unique and accomplished, all of
which can help build your self confidence.
7. Take pride in yourself: Not only should you feel proud of your
talents or your skills, but you should also think about the things
that make your personality great. It can be your sense of humor, your
sense of compassion, your listening skills, or your ability to cope
under stress. You may not think that there’s anything about your
personality worth admiring, but if you dig deep, you’ll realize that
you have plenty of admirable qualities. Focus on them by writing them
down.
8. Accept compliments gracefully: Many people with low self-esteem
have difficulty taking compliments; they assume that the person
complimenting them is either mistaken or lying. If you find yourself
responding to a compliment by rolling your eyes, saying, “Yeah,
right,” or shrugging it off, you should reframe your response to
compliments.
*Take it to heart and respond positively. (Saying “thank you” and
smiling works well). Let the person giving the compliment know that
you really appreciate it, and work to reach the point where you are
able to truly accept the compliment at heart.
*You can add the compliment to your list of positive attributes about
yourself and use it to bolster your self-confidence.
9. Look in the mirror and smile: Studies surrounding what’s called
the “facial feedback theory” suggest that the expressions on your face
can actually encourage your brain to register or intensify certain
emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might
feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run. This
will also help you feel happier about your appearance, and to accept
the way you look.
*Other people will likely respond to you well when you smile at them,
so in addition to making yourself feel happier, you may get a boost in
confidence due to the feedback you get from other people as well.